Against the hostile sun, a man (Al Fahidi Fort, Dubai)
by poetrydiary
Against the hostile sun, a man
came here once to shape this place,
while above the hawks circled slowly
and the sun burned.
With mud alone, and thought, sharp cries,
the fort rose, in the half-light,
while above the hawks circled slowly
and the sun burned.
Like a sandcastle, for sand men,
but standing, disturbing dust;
above the hawks circled slowly,
and the sun burned.
Under the hostile sun, strangers
sometimes came, even with guns,
and above the hawks circled slowly
and the sun burned.
After a while, they understood;
the walls were not to keep them out,
and above the hawks circled slowly
and the sun burned.
The fort still stands today, with men
on the ramparts, looking in.
Above the hawks circle slowly
and the sun burns.
—————
Al Fahidi Fort is now a museum in the centre of old Dubai.
Posted on dVerse and Poets United.
great work. Love the “sandcastle for sand men” line, and the hawks… and the general “feel” and tone of the piece.
I agree with thecheesewolf about the sandcastle line. Switching to present tense at the end was a great way to emphasize the…permanence of certain things.
I agree with thecheesewolf & Jack. Very well written 🙂
thecheesewolf
The repetition of the last two lines gave me the impression that the fort has been there and will be there for many years to come ~
Enjoyed seeing the place through your eyes ~
I enjoyed what the above said and the anaphora that you used and also the way you switch the tense for the “sun burns” on the last line.
You have really formed a good picture of the fort here. How fortunate you were to see Dubai. I think the highest building in the world is there now, isn’t it?
It is indeed (The Burj Khalifa) – my brother took us up it on our first day and it was slightly surreal: the buildings below looked like models. It is very well done though – I enjoyed the musical fountains at the bottom the most, the following evening: nothing done by halves!
powerful writing!
To me the hawks seem outside time in this piece, that they are watchers, waiting, and know things the people don’t. It’s almost like they are telling the story.
wow the refrain of those lines is haunting…as you progress through the story of this fort…places like that stir me at what has come before me there…
Nice piece ! Sounds like an amazing place.
Wow, great piece. Love the repetition, very nice.
Interesting.
I enjoyed the repeated lines with the switch to present tense in the final stanza.
But I can’t firmly understand your meaning. Meanings I am guessing at are:
(a) All our works crumble
(b) Everyone dies
(c) Wars happen, but eventually there will be peace
(d) War is foolish
I wish I could have understood your point better — the form, the repeats, the fort choice and such were fantastic.
Hello Sabio.
The primary intent is to describe the place, where I felt the (timeless) sun, heat and hostile environment put man’s attempts at building fortresses into perspective (and perhaps also explains why a fort in Arabia is much smaller than a castle in England!).
This could be expanded into wider commentaries if you wish…
It did also make me reflect on the true purpose of the fort, and indeed the local culture, which is at the same time outwardly intimidating, but also extremely friendly – against such powerful natural forces, we are only little men, after all, and best to stick together – maybe the fort’s builders knew this?
So maybe I tried to put quite a lot in the poem – but especially the overwhelming heat and power of the sun and desert – hence the repetition too.
Many thanks for your comments.
Indeed there is a haunting timeless quality to the repeating refrain. The images expressed throughout show indomitable forces of nature and man in timeless conflict. Beautifully constructed.
Powerful and intense — well done.