At night
by poetrydiary
At night
candle-flamed dreams tossed,
like pebbles by spring tides:
climbing the beach, they
glisten
and fight –
realities drowned,
like the wind, by clashing
contradictions, dark
wave-lusts,
which bite,
until forced to flee;
wide-eyed sun exposing
smooth white sands, ready
for dawn.
————————–
I’ve had a few long nights recently, and this brought to mind one of my favourite poems from more than 20 years ago, by Louis MacNeice: London Rain. It’s one of the few poems I know by memory (at least the first few verses):
The rain of London pimples
The ebony street with white
And the neon-lamps of London
Stain the canals of night
And the park becomes a jungle
In the alchemy of night.
My wishes turn to violent
Horses black as coal –
The randy mares of fancy,
The stallions of the soul –
Eager to take the fences
That fence about my soul.
[..]
My wishes now come homeward,
Their gallopings in vain,
Logic and lust are quiet
And again it starts to rain;
Falling asleep I listen
To the falling London rain.
I have skipped nine verses here, but hopefully you get the idea. I think the first verse in particular is fantastic. This poem is the inspiration for my much less rhythmic attempt at the same topic.
Awesome
What a lovely response to the quoted poem ~ I particularly like
candle-flamed dreams tossed ~
I agree London rain’s first verse is inspiring ~ The second one spoke to me too ~
Grace
I absolutely adored your ‘At night’. It spoke to me in different waves….
An excellent interpretation. Enjoyed it.
Lovely. Creates fascinating images.
I greatly enjoyed your poem, can picture ‘candle-flamed dreams.’ Don’t sell it short. I also like the technique that you used to write it….finding inspiration in another poem and even sharing it with us here!
I would take on any dream if it left me with smooth white sands ready for dawn.
Your words are meaningful and clearly well-chosen, but the form is the highlight of this piece for me.
Your poem inspires me to try to write a “:real” poem myself – have been uninspired of late, thanks to the endless gray skies of winter. I LOVE your poem, love its look on the page, love “candle-flamed dreams” , the strong-waved night, then the readiness for dawn. Just beautiful.
I love the way you presented your poem – it is a beautiful lyrical piece. I am a long-time fan of Macneice. He did wonders with form.
I love the way you have broken the sentences so wonderfully.. it is beautiful..
One of my favorite pieces of yours for sure. It’s beautiful…swept me away…
In fact I like yours better than the MacNeice. I like the language, and the interesting form. (Your own invention? Does it have a name?)
Thank you Rosemary – it’s my own form created just for this poem: really just a case of deciding as I went along to make the second and third verses match the first (and the rhyme between the first lines too). I wanted ‘At night’ to stand out at the beginning, and be as if ending a line, not starting it. Also ‘glisten’ at the end. Then the 5/6/5 pattern in the middle three lines just seemed to work with the images I had for the first verse.