Haiku – the end of the day
My child’s eyelids, soft,
filled with trust as I leave her,
each winter evening.
Copyright © 2011Matthew Rhodes
This poem was inspired by wewritepoems prompt 42 – a safe place. I feel her bed is a safe place for my daughter, and it’s always an emotional experience kissing her goodnight.
…and really difficult to express. I’m not yet completely happy with this one: there’s almost too much emotion for a little poem and it’s all too simple for a big one….
Thank you for liking it.
I like the idea a lot. And it’s serene, too (I go with live2write2day on that).
May all children’s beds be as safe as your daughter’s. Nicely crafted.
It is lovely. I remember those days and hope to have grandchildren to remind me of these moments [my children aren’t moving very fast in that direction].
If you are still playing with this, consider “close” instead of “filled”. The action then shows the trust rather than your saying it.
Thanks Margo – she is usually asleep (hence filled not close)! But I’ll think about it some more too.
So sweet and perfect, Matthew.
As it should be in a world where
there is so much heartache for
Blow too much emotion for a small poem! This one is so beautifully crafted, and your love shines like a lighthouse on a stormy night.
nicely done with emotion…..thanks for these words and sharing them
Your kid’s lucky. So many monstrous, treacherous fathers out there. Solid write, this. Salute.