Aubade
by poetrydiary
Emotions, like autumn leaves wind-stirred, float,
and fall back to cover red-raw earth, soft
with your last breath on my cheek. If you wrote –
just one line, sunlight warming seeds tossed
by your smile to the ground, I would not wait;
new stems would rise to greet the light, partners
in growth and joy; we’d make afresh our fate,
and find new strength and space: who cares who errs?
But maybe it is easier to stop.
Skies are cold and clods strain beneath the frost.
Un-nurtured leaves will drift, decay and drop;
Our chance, that came, and went, was worth the cost.
I wanted so to strive and yearn with you,
But if you won’t, I cannot face the dew.
©2011 Matthew Rhodes
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Shared with Poets United May 15 2011
A sonnet! And proper form. I am impressed. I tried once. It was quite a battle. This one is lovely and reminds me of many that I taught.
Thank you – yes, it is a first attempt at a sonnet! If I allowed myself a bit more time I might have a go at coinciding line endings with the ends of phrases (!) but hopefully it is a start.
This is your first sonnet? I may have to stop speaking to you! You have iambic pentameter, a rhyme scheme, even if not strictly traditional, and the 8/6 division. Keep writing them.
Question? Did the revision suggestions I sent get to you? I realise, sometimes too late, that the email in my inbox does not return to the sender. Let me know because I did do it and happily sent it off, possibly into the ether.
[…] started this one first but finished it second). I hope its my second proper sonnet! – after Aubade/Feb 1 I felt it was the right form to try for this […]
I quite impressed. Your first sonnet?
Well done.
The lines of this sonnet have such a nice flow — the images blend well with the structure and rhyme. Beautiful piece!
This is impressive and especially so for a first sonnet. Kudos to you!
Raindrops”
Matthew,
This certainly has the feel of a sonnet. It has the ingredients required too. The love and sadly the loss.
An excellent piece of work.
Eileen
beautiful job.
🙂
come to poets rally week 44,
thanks for the support.
keep up the excellence.
🙂