Seeing things differently revisited
by poetrydiary
This is a reworking of my very old poem below. Not sure I’ve learnt much, but enjoyed the challenge from we write poems. I feel this would benefit from another rewrite yet!
Existence, at nineteen, is a blank page
in a book unwritten, and without
rhyme.
And the moments of love
that follow,
if you are lucky, by chance,
and in unexpected places,
resonate for years, like wars.
The poetry of life is a wonderful thing
and at forty four more complicated again
than you can possibly expect, when wondering
about existence, and love, is a route to pain.
Different perspectives: understood more, and cared
less for, having invested so much in our own.
Mostly by accident, in fact, we have bared
our soul, and sought others’ identities, on loan.
And those moments of love
return, again:
just moments – months or weeks;
so much more than rhyme,
which is easy, in time.
Poetry is not.
Uniqueness –
cannot last.
© 2011 Matthew Rhodes
I feel a blend of sadness and hope in this provocative poem. Looking back at 44–my world was turned upside down by my own choices. Definitely a decade there of transistions and evolution. Well done.
Thank you for the encouragement! I used to like the old one so much, and now I struggle to see why…! But I’m not sad.
Dear Matthew,
Found you at We Write Poems, and glad I did. I enjoyed reading this poem, taking a trip back in time…
Looking back over my life, as I sit here at 54, I realize how much longing I had back then. I do feel that uniqueness CAN last, only because I’ve become more unique as time has passed, not less… but maybe that’s just me!
One small suggestion: Have you considered dropping the comma after “the moments of love” – since the whole phrase is “the moments of love that follow.”
Keep up the writing and we’ll keep reading!
Peace, Amy Barlow Liberatore
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/01/13/one-for-we-write-poems/
Thanks – sorry about the comma, you are right! Too much of a hurry….